


Some Things Are Meant to be Broken

by FindingMyPerhaps



Series: The Ballad of Mary Winchester II [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blood, Blood and Injury, Dark, Episode: s01e22 Devil's Trap, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Incest, Incestuous Offspring, Injury, M/M, Mary Winchester II, Minor Cassie Robinson/Dean Winchester, Minor Character Death, Minor John Winchester/Mary Winchester, Multi, Not Actually Daddycest, Original Character Death(s), Sam Has A Twin Sister, Sam Winchester's Twin Sister, Sibling Incest, Spoilers for Episode: s01e22, dark themes, implied parent/child incest, mentions of depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2015-07-24
Packaged: 2018-04-11 01:21:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4415615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FindingMyPerhaps/pseuds/FindingMyPerhaps
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Azazel gets a hold on John Winchester's body. These violent delights do, indeed, have violent ends. </p><p>Set at the end of Season 1.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some Things Are Meant to be Broken

**Author's Note:**

> This is a very, very dark fanfic. Meant to be a short ficlet, but it ended up being a lot longer than that. And a lot darker than I originally intended it to be. Please, take notice of the warnings and the tags. The future isn't pretty. 
> 
> Part of a series of ficlets that I will be posting in chronological order once I complete them all. 
> 
> But seriously. Read with caution.
> 
> Rated M for dark themes.

-

_Nothing is really going well, but at least they got Dad out alive.  So they’re in an old cabin, hidden somewhere secluded in the woods while they figure out their next move.  Because they’re pretty sure there are gonna be more demons on their their trail, so Sam and Mary busy themselves with salting the doors and windows._

_Dean enters the room, and Mary feels the urge to ask how their father is doing.  Sam beats her to it._

_“How is he?” Sam asks without having to look behind him.  
_

_“Ah, he just needed a little rest, that’s all,” Dean answers, and he wipes his hands off with a rag.  Carefully, he takes a seat.  “How are you two?”  
_

_Mary turns and meets Sam’s eyes for a moment._

_“We’ll survive,” Sam says for them, and Mary goes with it.  Finally, she sets the salt down, turning around the same time her twin does.  
_

_Mary crosses her arms over her chest, and for some reason, her denim jacket feels too tight.  But she doesn’t take it off.  “We need a plan,” she says before Sam speaks._

_Dean looks over to her.  “What for?”_

_“Well, knowing our luck, they’re either on our trail or looking hard for it,” Mary points out.  
_

_“I don’t think so,” Dean murmurs and looks around the place. “Pretty out-of-the-way place to hole up.”  
_

_Mary shrugs.  “Just a thought.”_

_Dean scratches his head and looks down, and then Sam speaks up._

_“Dean, you, um...”  Sam puts his hands in his pockets and sighs.  Half of his body is lit by the dim light they have going from the kitchen area, and Mary can see how beat up his face looks from what the demon had done to his face earlier that day.  “You saved my life back there.”  
_

_Dean almost smiles.  “So I guess you’re glad I brought the gun, huh?”_

_Sam looks annoyed.  “Man, I’m trying to thank you here.”_

_Mary almost expects another smart ass remark from her older brother, but it doesn’t come.  Instead, he looks down, and he says, “You’re welcome.”_

_And yeah, sure, Mary is happy her twin brother is safe.  But in reality, it just means that there’s one less bullet.  One less possible shot.  Still, she gets it.  She would’ve done the same thing if she had seen a fucking demon beating the shit out of her twin.  But still._

_“Hey, uh.  I have a question.” Dean’s voice distracts Mary from her thoughts, and she’s not sure if he’s talking to just one of them or both of them.  
_

_Still, Mary and Sam both answer with, “Yeah?”_

_Dean stares straight ahead, lost in thought.  “You know that guy I shot?”  He pauses.  “There was a person in there.”_

_Sam turns from where he’s walked to the other window, looks at Dean with sadness.  “You didn’t have a choice, Dean.”_

_“I know,” Dean answers.  “That’s not what bothers me.”  
_

_Mary blinks in confusion, tilts her head to the side as she just looks at Dean.  Because when he looks off like that, when he zones out, his eyes are cloudy but so clear.  She thinks if she looks too long, she’ll see every secret he has to hide.  Mary doesn’t want to go there._

_“Then what does?” Mary can’t stop herself from speaking, but she’s curious.  
_

_Dean swallows.  “Killing that guy.  Killing Meg.  I didn’t hesitate.  I didn’t even flinch.”  He shakes his head slowly.  “For you, Mary, or Dad.  The things I’m willing to do or kill, it’s just, uh...”  He lets out a nervous little huff of laughter before his face goes straight again.  “It scares me sometimes.”_

_Sam and Mary both just look at him, and through the silence of the room, the only sound to be heard is Mary uncrossing her arms and putting her hands in her pockets.  Other than that, it’s just silence.  And something sad._

_“It shouldn’t.”  John’s voice is gentle from where he stands in the doorway, and they all look up and in his direction.  “You did good.”_

_Dean looks confused.  “You’re not mad?”_

_“For what?”  
_

_“Using a bullet.”  
_

_“Mad?” John shakes his head.  “I’m proud of ya.”  
_

_Dean sits up so fast, it’s almost as if he’s flinching from the words. Sam and Mary even look stunned._

_“You know,” John continues, “we can all get pretty obsessed. But you - you watch out for this family.  You always have.”  
_

_Mary looks to Dean before he says, “Thanks,” in a low voice._

_And before they can get caught up in the moment, the lights begin to flicker, followed by the sound of a thumping on the side of the cabin.  John crosses to the window and looks outside, the other three behind him._

_John turns.  “It found us,” he says with urgency in his voice.  “It’s here.”_

_“The demon?” Mary asks, glancing out the window.  
_

_“Sam, Mary - lines of salt in front of every window and every door.”  
_

_“Done,” Mary answers.  
_

_“Well, check it, okay?”  
_

_Mary and Sam nod obediently and head off without question.  They split up to look through the house.  Mary checks her side of the cabin as fast as she can before her and Sam meet up._

_“Everything good on your side?” She asks.  
_

_“Yeah,” he says, and he looks towards the kitchen.  “Let’s go.”  
_

_So they walk side by side with big steps, until they reach the kitchen and stop in their tracks.  Because Dean is aiming the Colt right at John._

_“Dean?” Mary looks between the two of them.  
_

_“Dean, what the hell is going on?” Sam asks.  
_

_“Your brother’s lost his mind,” John answers while staring at Dean.  
_

_“He’s not Dad,” Dean argues.  
_

_“What?” Sam and Mary both answer in unison.  
_

_“I think he’s possessed!” Dean declares, still staring from his end of the gun.  “I think he’s been possessed since we rescued him.”_

_“Don’t listen to him.”  
_

_“Dean, how do you know?” Sam slowly steps more towards Dean, and Mary follows.  
_

_“He’s...” Dean looks like he’s fighting back tears.  “He’s different.”  
_

_“You know, we don’t have time for this,” John tries to move from the topic.  “If you wanna kill this demon, you’ve all gotta just trust me.”  
_

_But Sam and Mary just look back and forth between the two of them._

_“Sam.” John tries again, looking at his two youngest children.  “Mary.”  
_

_Mary shakes her hand and crosses to stand next to Dean.  “No,” she says.  Sam follows right after her._

_John watches them, and he nods.  A sad smile forms on his face, and tears form in his eyes.  “Fine.”  He swallows and just stares at them.  “You’re all so sure.  Go ahead.”  He nods again.  “Kill me.”  His voice is hushed, broken.  Mary doesn’t know if she should believe it._

_John puts his head down like he’s waiting for Dean to just pull the trigger, but Dean doesn’t.  Dean slowly eases his finger away from the trigger, and he just slightly lowers the gun._

_“I thought so,” John says with a firm voice, and he looks up with a smile on his face.  And his eyes are yellow.  
_

_In a flash, Sam and Mary are both pinned to separate walls by the demon’s power, followed by Dean.  Dean is forced to drop the gun, and John -no, Yellow Eyes - picks it up._

_Mary fights along with her brothers against the power that grips their bodies, but it’s no use.  They’re stuck.  Helpless.  Cornered._

_“What a pain in the ass this thing’s been,” Yellow Eyes speaks, and Mary nearly shivers because that’s her_ father’s  _voice he’s using._

_Mary struggles and gasps from her efforts.  “It’s you,” she spits out.  “The one we’ve been looking for our whole lives.”_

_“Well, today’s your lucky day, then, sweetheart,” Yellow Eyes says, and he grins at her.  “Looks like ya found me.”  
_

_“The holy water,” Sam murmurs from his wall.  “How did-”  
_

_“You think something like that works on something like me?” He mocks them.  
_

_Sam struggles again, grunts as he tries to break free.  “I’m gonna kill you,”” he growls._

_“Oh?” Yellow Eyes continues to smile while he caresses the Colt in his hands. “Now, that would be a neat trick. In fact...”  He sets the gun down slowly, steps away from it.  “Make the gun float to ya there, psychic boy.”_

_Sam looks like he might be trying to do just that, but Yellow Eyes knows better.  He looks at Mary._

_“What about you, pretty girl?” He asks her.  “Let’s not pretend you don’t have your fair share of visions, right?”  
_

_Mary doesn’t give him the satisfaction of an answer._

_Yellow Eyes chuckles and walks across the room to look out the window.  “You know, I could’ve killed you a hundred times today, but this?”  He sighs, like a whistle under his breath.  “This is worth the wait.”_

_Dean scrunches his face up in pain as he tries to break the hold, but even for him, it’s too much._

_“Your dad - he’s in here with me,” he goes on, looking at Dean beside him.  “Trapped inside his own meat suit. He says ‘hi’, by the way.  He’s gonna tear you apart.  He’s gonna taste the iron in your blood.”  
_

_“Let him go,” Dean finally snaps.  “Or I swear to God-”  
_

_“What? What are you and_ God  _gonna do?” Yellow Eyes taunts Dean like he’s a dog, and he’s eager for him to bark again. “You see, as far as I’m concerned, this is justice.”  He turns and stands in front of Dean, eyeing him carefully with a sharp, yellow glare.  “You know that little exorcism of yours?  That was my daughter.”  
_

_“Who, Meg?”  
_

_“The one in the alley?” He goes on without interruption.  “That was my boy.  Ya understand?”_

_“Oh, you gotta be kidding me-”_

_“What?  You’re the only one that can have a family?  You destroyed my children. How would you feel if I killed your family?”  
_

_Mary itches for the gun more than anything in that moment._

_“Oh, that’s right,” Yellow Eyes says.  “I forgot.  I did.”  Then, he smiles again.  “Still.  Two wrongs don’t make a right.”  
_

_“You son of a bitch...” Dean growls.  
_

_“I want to know why,” Sam snaps from across the kitchen.  “Why’d you do it?”  
_

_“You mean why’d I kill Mommy and pretty little Jess?”  
_

_Sam clenches his jaw.  “Yeah.”_

_Yellow Eyes smiles and steps away from Dean, turning so he can look at all three of them.  “You know, Sam never told you two this, but he was gonna ask her to marry him.  Been shopping for rings and everything.”_

_Mary thinks she might scream or cry or something, but she doesn’t care.  “But why this?” She demands._

_“Why?” Yellow Eyes smiles and approaches Mary this time.  “I bet I could ask all of you the same exact question._ Why _?”  He looks around the room once more.  “Sammy.  Why’d you kiss Mary that night when you were fifteen?  Or was it sixteen?  Freshen my memory.  You know, when Sammy went on his first real big hunt and got hurt pretty bad, so you took him in, patched him up, and got into bed with him because you were just so_ scared  _that you almost lost him_ _?”  
_

_He turns to look at Dean.  “And what about you, Dean?  Why’d you encourage your little brother and sister to keep going, huh?  That day you walked in on them kissing, you didn’t say a word.  In fact, if I remember correctly, you_ liked  _what you saw.”_

_“Shut up, you son of a bitch,” Mary growls because no, he can’t do this.  They don’t talk about it, it doesn’t exist.  
_

_“But_ why _, Mary?  Is it because it’s a sensitive subject?  Or because you just don’t wanna upset Sammy with all this talk about incest?”  
_

_Mary makes a jump and almost breaks away, but she slams back against the wall.  Yellow Eyes just smiles and tuts._

_“Let’s not forget you, baby girl,” he continues, walking closer to her and placing his hand on the wall by her head.  “You’re no princess.”  
_

_“Get away from her,” Dean growls, low and deep in his throat.  
_

_“Oh, big brother is so protective of his little whore,” Yellow Eyes teases, but he steps away.  “That’s right, Sammy.  Dean’s been fucking Mary here behind your back since he first picked you two up from Stanford.”  
_

_By now, Mary has tears streaming down her face, but she doesn’t give up.  “Shut the fuck up!”_

_“Why?  You’re the one who thinks Sammy deserves this revenge for leaving you at Stanford, right?  That’s what you’ve been thinking the entire past year, right?  Since he broke your little heart?”  
_

_Mary squeezes her eyes shut and puts her head down._

_“Don’t be shy, pretty girl,” Yellow Eyes says, and he moves to grip her chin so she looks up at him.  “You should look at your father when he’s talking to you.”  
_

_“You’re not my father,” Mary spits out as she opens her green eyes to look at him.  
_

_He chuckles.  “Maybe.  But your daddy’s still in here with me.  And let me tell you, he doesn’t like all this talk about incest among his children.”  He looks Mary up and down before he grins, and suddenly his hands are on her hips.  “What do you say we let Daddy give you a try, huh?”_

_“Don’t touch her, or I swear to God, I’ll rip your fucking throat out!” And it’s Sam who speaks this time.  
_

_Yellow Eyes just laughs and slides his hands up Mary’s waist, his thumbs tracing over her hipbones, and then-_

_He stops.  “Oh,” he says, and he brings one hand over Mary’s abdomen.  “_ Oh _.”  He turns to look at Dean, and he’s still grinning like a mad man.  “_ Dean _.  I had no idea you two were expecting.”_

_“What?” All three of them say at the same time.  
_

_“Yeah,” Yellow Eyes continues to touch Mary’s stomach with his palm flat against her abdomen.  “I can just feel the little heartbeat.”  
_

_Mary lets out a broken sob.  She’s pregnant.  And she had no idea._

_He smiles at Dean, stepping away from Mary.  “Bet you feel guilty, huh, son?” He asks and licks his lips.  “After all, you’ve been sleeping around behind Mary’s back, too, right?”_

_Mary looks up.  “W-What?”_

_“Don’t you remember Cassie Robinson?” He teased her.  “Dean’s first love?  Or so he says, unless he might’ve actually had feelings for the both of you.”  
_

_Mary doesn’t say anything.  She doesn’t know what she can say because everything is just getting worse._

_Yellow eyes continues.  “You can’t honestly tell me you thought you two were in an honest and healthy relationship, right?  Dean’s a man.  He has_ needs _.”  He turns to Dean once more.  “Boy, you’d be a terrible father to that child.  But I guess... Like father, like son.”_

_Again, Dean makes a jump from the wall, and it doesn’t work.  He’s furious and angry with tears in his eyes.  Sam is clenching his jaw, tears drying on his face.  And Mary can’t stop crying._

_The demon just shakes his head and laughs, having had enough fun.  So he turns to Sam.  “You wanna know why, Sammy?  Why I killed your mommy and your silly little girlfriend?”  He waits for an answer, but Sam just glares at him.  “Because they got in the way,” he answers._

_“In the way of what?” Sam challenges.  
_

_“My plans for you, Sammy.  For you and Mary.  You two... and all the children like you.”  
_

_“Listen,” Dean says, “you mind just getting this over with, huh? ‘Cause I really can’t stand the monologuing.”  
_

_“Funny.” Yellow Eyes turns away from Sam again and walks over to Dean.  “But that’s all part of your M.O., isn’t it?  Mask all that nasty pain, mask the truth.”  
_

_“Oh, yeah?”  Dean glares back, the tears gone and replaced with nothing but anger and fury.  “And what’s that?”_

_“You know, you fight, and you fight for this family.  But the truth is they don’t need you.  Not like you need them.  Sam?  He’s clearly John’s favorite boy.  Even when they fight, it’s more concern than he’s ever shown you.  And Mary?  She’s his little princess.  Well...”  He glances at her.  “_ Was  _his little princess.”_

_“I bet you’re real proud of your kids, too, huh?” Dean speaks.  “Oh, wait, I forgot.  I wasted ‘em.” He smiles like he knows it hurts._

_Yellow Eyes just smiles and steps back for a moment, and then he puts his head down.  When he looks up at Dean, he’s not smiling anymore, but he does something that makes Dean cry out in pain._

_“Dean!” Sam and Mary both call out at the same time, but Dean’s still groaning and gasping from whatever pain the demon is putting him through.  So they fight against the invisible bonds while blood starts seeping through the front of Dean’s shirt.  
_

_“Stop!” Mary practically screeches.  
_

_“Dad,” Dean gasps.  “Dad, don’t you let it kill me!”  
_

_But the demon just glares harder to silence Dean, hurting him more from the inside out.  Sam and Mary fight against their walls to be freed, but nothing happens.  Blood comes up from Dean’s mouth, and he looks up._

_“Dad, please,” Dean whispers helplessly, and it’s the last thing he says before he blacks out from the pain and loss of blood, still held up against the wall.  
_

_“No!” Mary is hyperventilating.  “Dean!”  
_

_“No!” Sam cries, too, and Yellow Eyes doesn’t move.  
_

_“Stop,” the demon begs in a whisper, but that’s John’s voice and those are John’s eyes.  “Stop it.”  
_

_The power is released from their bodies, and Mary rushes over to Dean while Sam goes for the Colt.  Mary cries turns Dean’s face to look at her as she tries to wake him.  He’s still held up by the demon’s power, but she doesn’t care because he’s hurt and he’s unconscious and she needs to help him._

_Sam stands strong and aims the Colt at John, and the yellow eyes return along with that sick and twisted smile._

_“You kill me,” Yellow Eyes says, “you kill Daddy.”  
_

_“I know,” Sam says, and he pulls the trigger right as he aims the gun at John’s leg.  He collapses to the ground, and Dean gasps as he falls from the wall, and Mary helps to keep him standing._

_John doesn’t move, so Sam runs over to Mary and Dean.  “Is he okay?”_

_“No,” Mary says.  “He’s lost a lot of blood, and-”_

_“Where’s Dad?” Dean interrupts.  
_

_“He’s right here.”  Sam looks back to John’s unconscious body before he looks back.  “He’s right here, Dean.”  
_

_“Go check on him,” he breathes, ignoring his own pain and bleeding._

_Sam just nods and walks over to John.  “Dad?”  But John doesn’t move.  “Dad.”_

_John suddenly gasps and looks up at Sam from the floor.  “Sammy!” He screams like he’s in pain.  “It’s still alive.  It’s inside me; I can feel it.”  He keeps breathing heavily, grits his teeth.  “You shoot me!  You shoot me in the heart, son!”_

_Sam cocks the gun and aims it obediently._

_“Do it, now!”  
_

_“Sam, don’t you do it,” Dean says, and Mary is having trouble helping him stand.  “Don’t you do it.”  
_

_But John doesn’t care.  “You gotta hurry,” he begs of him.  “I can’t hold on to it much longer.  You shoot me, son!  Shoot me!”_

_Sam keeps the gun aimed, but he isn’t shooing.  He doesn’t pull the trigger, and Mary’s terrified of the possibilities of what can happen._

_“Son, I’m begging you!” John cries.  “We can end this here and now!  Sammy!”  
_

_“Sam,” Mary almost whimpers his name.  Because she’s stuck between wanting him to shoot and wanting him to throw the gun away.  
_

_“You do this!” John keeps arguing for him to pull the trigger. “Sammy!”  And then his eyes begin to go dark, losing that light there.  “Sam... Sam...”_

_Sam puts the gun down, and just like that, John is screaming and the demon is leaving through his mouth in a stream of black smoke.  It fills the air until it goes down, disappearing through the cracks of the old and dusty wooden floor._

_John gasps for air and looks at Sam with so much hurt in his eyes, but he doesn’t say anything as he rests his head back against the floor._

_-_

_Mary’s in the back seat of the impala with Dean, and she feels out of place because she’s the only one that isn’t bleeding or bruised from the last twenty-four hours.  John’s in the passenger seat while Sam is driving, speeding to the nearest hospital.  The silence is unsettling, but Mary doesn’t know how to break it.  John looks out the window, away from facing his children, but he’s still making sounds of pain._

_“Look, just hold on, alright?” Sam says.  “The hospital’s only ten minutes away.”_

_“I’m surprised at you, Sammy,” John says in a low voice, and for a second, Mary thinks he’s gonna talk about it_ now _, of all times.  But he doesn’t.  “Why didn’t you kill it?”  He looks beside him to stare at Sam.  “I thought we saw eye-to-eye on this.  Killing this demon comes first.  Before me, before everything.”  
_

_Mary meets Sam’s eyes in the rear view mirror, and she sees him look to Dean.  It means something._

_“No, sir,” Sam answers as he looks away.  “Not before everything.”  
_

_John looks away like he’s disappointed.  Mary doesn’t blame him._

_“Look,” Sam says, “we’ve still got the Colt.  We still have the one bullet left.  We just have to start over, all right?  I mean, we already found the demon once-”  
_

_And that’s the last thing they hear before they’re hit by a truck._

_-_

Mary sits alone in the waiting room, silent and bruised.  Covered with cuts and scrapes from the glass, bandages here and there.  She tries to pretend like she doesn’t hear John yelling from down the hall, but she does.  She hears her name once, twice, three times - followed by a few choice words she never thought she’d hear her father say about her.

Dean’s hospital room is down another few corridors, and he’s in a comatose.  There are no signs that he’ll be waking any time soon, but Mary’s not allowed in there without a nurse.  John’s orders, apparently.  She gets it. 

The yelling stops and Mary sits up straight in her chair before Sam joins her.  he doesn’t sit near her.  He sits across the empty room in another empty chair.

“How is he?” Mary barely murmurs, not looking at her twin.

“Besides the anger, he’s expected to make a full recovery from the bullet wound,” Sam answers, and Mary looks up because she can hear the sadness in his voice.

“I’m sorry,” she says before she can stop herself.

“For what?” Sam looks back at her.  “For not telling me the truth?  For lying to me?”

“I did what I had to do,” Mary shoots back, fighting back tears.  “You could never understand what I’ve been through in the last few years.”

“You could’ve talked to me, Mary, you could’ve-”

“As if you would have listened.”  Mary glares.  “You and your parties and your pretty little girlfriend.  Do you know what I had, Sam?  I had lectures and big medical books I stuffed my nose into every night so I wouldn’t think about you.  So I wouldn’t have to cry until I got into my bed at night.  Every night, alone and cold.”

“That was your choice,” Sam says, his voice hard.  “I didn’t make you do anything.  You agreed-”

“I agreed so you would be free, Sam.  So you could fulfill your dream of being normal.  And even if I hadn’t agreed, you wouldn’t have been happy with me.  Because I was nothing to you.  And I can see that I still am.”

Sam’s eyes soften.  “Mary...”

“No.  Don’t.”  Mary stands from her chair and puts her hands in her pockets.  For a moment, she breathes, looking up at the white ceiling, as if some higher power might hear her.  “Every night, I cried, Sam.  Every god damn night.  And I’d cry and just hate myself because I loved you.  I loved you, and you never loved me.”

“That’s not true.  I’ve always loved you.”

Mary looks over at Sam, sees the tears there once more.  He’s crying.  She’s not sure how to react to it because Sam doesn’t cry often.  

“I never stopped loving you.”

She almost laughs.  “Then where were you when I was broken, Sammy?”

He doesn’t answer, but Mary can see him put his head down silently while he cries.  She thinks he deserves it.

“So yeah, I went to Dean.  I went to him because at least he still loved me enough to even touch me.  To even look at me longer than five seconds at a time.  That’s the first good feeling I’ve felt in almost five years, Sam.  Five years.”

"You could have talked to me.  In the past year, you could have said something.”

And this time, she actually does laugh.  It’s bitter and sad, but she does.  “Any time I even brought up our past, Sam, you changed the subject.”

“What do want me to say?” Sam looks up, tears streaking his face.  “That I’m sorry?”

“I want you to stop pretending that we never happened!  That our past isn’t real.”  Mary takes in a deep breath.  “I just...”  She pauses again and licks her dry lips, feels the cut on her bottom lip.  “I’m not asking much.  I just want the old Sam back.  Even if he doesn’t love me anymore, I just want him around.”

Sam doesn’t say anything, and he just looks at her.  

“That’s all I want.”  Mary turns around and goes to the door.

“Wait,” Sam speaks.  “What about you and Dean?  And the baby?”

Mary stops in her tracks, feels her stomach twist in knots.  She closes her eyes and gathers her strength so she can turn around to face Sam again.  “Don’t,” she says, tears in her eyes.  “There is no baby, Sam.”

Sam looks confused for a second.  “But the demon.  He said-”

“I know what he said.”  She can’t really stop the tears now, but the flow free from her eyes.  

“Well, was he lying?”

Mary shakes her head.  “No.  There was a baby.”  She silent as she watches Sam process her words.

The car crash.

“Mary-”

“No.”  Mary continues to shake her head.  “Sam.  Just don’t.”

“I’m sorry.”

Mary just looks at him.  “I know.”  She looks out the door.  “I’m gonna go outside, get some fresh air, so, um...”

“Yeah,” Sam says.  “I’ll just stay here.”

“Probably the best idea, yeah.”  Mary turns around.  “See ya, Sam.”  And then she’s gone, walking down the hall and avoiding John’s room like the Black Plague.  She passes Dean’s room, but the door is closed.  Of course.

Down the stairs, Mary feels for her phone in her pocket.  How it survived, she doesn’t know, but she’s glad it did.  She steps out the doors and takes it out of her pocket, pulling up Bobby’s contact on the screen.  Mary lets in a breath of fresh air before she hits the call button and presses it to her ear.

“Hey, Bobby,” Mary says, and she sounds more cheerful than she has in hours.  “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just calling in for a favor.”  She’s silent and waits for his answer, and then she smiles.  “Good, good.  I’m just gonna need a few things.”

Mary looks up and can see the sun shining in the sky.  She feels the heat on her skin, and she appreciates it for what could be the last time.

Because she’s got a deal to make.


End file.
